The breakup coaches are making their need felt in the modern fast-paced existence that has accelerated all aspects of human life. People are hooking up faster through unconventional methods like speed dating, apps-based matchmaking, and social media platforms. Ironically, the tools that are facilitating faster matchmaking are also presenting easy options for partners to look out for mates outside of their committed relationships. The pace of breakups has picked up, so as the need for the individuals to recover from them faster and bring back their life on tracks. Such scenarios entail individuals seeking the services of a breakup coach. An experienced coach can help separated souls to tide over the breakup blues. A few essential qualities of a breakup coach should be:
Good Listener
The breakup coach should be a keen and patient listener. When a client opens-up about their emotional and mental state, they should be awarded attentive listening with complete focus on what is being expressed through both the verbal and nonverbal clues. The intention of listening should be to comprehend and record everything being conveyed with all intends and purposes of accumulating accurate information about the client without sullying it with one’s thoughts or perceptions. The listening process should never be hindered by interrupting the client through avoidable questioning or forming real-time mental responses to the content being shared.
Non-Judgmental Attitude
The coach should be mature to understand that there may be a lot of finger-pointing on the failure of the relationship wherein a client might accuse the estranged partner of the failure and declare oneself as the victim. On the other hand, they can put the onus of the failure on themselves as the perpetrator of the crime and fester in the self-pity. The coach should avoid taking sides by explicitly agreeing to any of the versions as it may embolden the mental cobwebs of the client. The coach’s job is to rather help them get past such self-defeatist attitudes and not to strengthen them.
Emotionally Intelligent
A breakup coach is hired as someone who can help a client to get over the trauma of separation from a loved one. The coach must be empathetic but should keep their own emotions in check to remain neutral in the emotional potboiler of the client. They should in no case lose awareness of their own emotions and get emotionally invested in the scenario. They are supposed to be problem solvers and not any affected party. Their overtly emotional entanglement can negatively influence the effectiveness of the coaching.
Problem Solver Not a Preacher
The coach may very well do an excellent job in deciphering the physiological state of the client, the reasons, and its manifestations. They may also explain the same to their clients but it is the job half done, they need to produce an action plan following which the client can do course correction of their life path after the grueling experience of a breakdown. The outcome of coaching is a controlled set of actions to beat the debilitating behaviors of the client.
Courageous
The responsibility of the breakup coach is to help assess the emotional state of the client and propose to them a slew of measures they could implement to get back to their original happy selves. The coach has to be vigilant of what they suggest in terms of the acceptability with the client, there may be a few suggested actions which could appear obnoxious at the look of it but the coach should have the courage of the character to explain it to the client about the significance of these rather unpopular measures and press for them to be implemented rather than discarding them for the absence of a sweet-sounding pill.
Interpersonal Skills
The very basis of a successful breakup coaching experience is that the client should open up their heart and soul for the coach to let them assess the correct status of their physiological state, their fears, apprehensions, disappointments, and lack of confidence. They could only open-up unless the coach represents the persona of an individual who is friendly and deals with them empathetically through the ability to relate and respond to their level of mental state. An overbearing coach can make the client go into their shell and never share vital information that is important for suggesting a recovery plan.
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